June 24, 2011
Well its 2 days before I leave my 20’s and join the big 3 Oh. Am I nervous or anxious, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. Going to a new decade is a little scary but I’m ready to see what’s on the other side. My brothers have been telling me that life is really gonna begin. I know now that I am an official adult. But as I get ready to exit my 20’s I don’t want to repeat some of the same mistakes in my 30’s. As
it goes, you’re supposed to be older and wiser. I spent a good portion of my 20’s putting faith in people I should not have. Clearly I kept on giving them chance after chance to prove themselves and they continued to disappoint me but I wanted to see the best in them. No more of that. I will not continue to put stock in people who frankly do not deserve it. And I always was overly compassionate to people, when people didn’t give me the same kind of common courtesy. I am a person who always thinks before I speak because I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings but now its like SCREW IT!! I’m a grown ass woman. No more walking on eggshells and tip toeing around people’s feelings. Now this doesn’t mean that I’m just gonna start lashing out at people. All this means is that I am gonna speak about what’s on my mind. If I think something is b.s., I’m gonna say it is.
Another thing that I have gotten in the habit of doing is putting myself and my needs first. It took me all of 29 years to figure it out, but hey at least I did. Cause the old rule states look out for numero uno. Many times I wondered about someone else’s needs over my own. In certain situations I even was willing to overlook what I believe to accommodate that person, but no more of that. I’m not saying its my way or the highway, but if I am strongly against something, I’m not gonna budge from it. I need to stick to my guns because consistency is key. I can’t say I feel one way about something and then it goes out the window the next minute. I’m so over that now. What best suits me first, and everything else second.
Going with the whole thing of taking care of me first, I really need to get the ball rolling on things. While I’m saying what I want to accomplish before this age or that age time is just steady passing me by. I have been saying that I want to make a lot of things happen for a while now but has made little progress in doing so. And its not the fact that I’m afraid of failure. I just haven’t sat down and actually orchestrated a plan. I have so many ideas and thoughts that rush through my head. I see the finish line before I see the starting gate. Focusing on one thing at a time is going to be something that I am gonna need to do in order for me to successfully pull my ideas off. It is absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming, however I am ready for my dreams to become a reality.
I’m tired of just having a “normal” life. Something I realized about myself is that I am not normal. I strive for a lot and always want to perfect any job or task I come about. I want more out of life. I am proud of the accomplishments that I have made but I just want more. I will not be content going on doing what I’m doing for the next 20, 30, or 40 years. I never want to have the “I wish I’d have done this when I was younger” speech. I have a living breathing example of that in front of my face. True the expression says you’re never too old to do anything until you’re dead but I feel sometimes you miss your window. For example someone in their mid to late 30’s who always wanted to play in the NBA has missed that window. Can they still play ball, of course. But not at that level of professionalism. I want to make the most of my life because when it comes down to it, you only have one life and it is short. If its something you’ve always wanted to do, make it happen. Stop wishing and hoping and dreaming. Like Nike says “Just Do It”.
Turning 30 has brought out all kinds of emotions in me. Its for the most part positive, but a little anxiety lies ahead. I guess its because I’m at the point where I’m not a “young” adult, but just an adult. Cause the choices and decisions I make now are going to be ones that affect me for the rest of my life. Its not impossible to start over as you get older, but it definitely becomes more difficult. So here’s to a new decade. May it bring more joy and fun than my 20’s. 🙂