Alice and Clarence sitting in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Alice with the baby carriage. This rhyme was often sung about a new couple back in the day. However given today’s market, the rhyme should be updated to say: Alice and Clarence kissing in a tree. F-O-R-N-I-C-A-T-I-N-G. First comes lust, then comes a baby, and if she’s lucky, he’ll marry her, maybe. Now in no way am I saying that this a new thing that just happened in the last decade or so, but if it was happening back then, it was something that was kept hush hush. It was not broadcast for everyone to know. Could it be that people way back had more scruples and morals than the people of today or could it be that with today’s media that tolerance for shock is at an all time high. So I pose to answer the question: why don’t people marry anymore.
Theory #1:
More men, especially women are more likely to become highly educated. With the job market going the way it is now, certain positions are out of one’s reach. To even be considered you must possess a college degree (BS/BA) just to get a foot in the door. So definitely to become the Big Kahuna, you must have an advanced degree (MS/MA, PhD). In this time, sure you are becoming more knowledgeable and are increasing your chances of getting a better job, but many people who take this path, that’s all they know. They have little to no time for a social life. And once you become comfortable, you are set in your ways. You do not want anyone to come and mess up your groove, so in a sense you become married to your career.
Theory #2:
The media/pop culture does not directly dictate how to live your life, but they definitely influence it. On talk shows everyday there are women in doubt of who their baby’s daddy is. There are songs and videos that play on the radio and the television talking about being happy to be an unwed mother or father. And probably the most influential are celebrities. It is not uncommon to see celebrity couples who have a kid or two and are not married or to see a couple living together and vacationing all over the world, unmarried. This cheapens the value of marriage and children and teens who idolize these people figure hey if so in so doesn’t want to get married then neither should I.
Theory #3:
When living with someone you do spend a lot of direct time with them. So you do become comfortable with them. Once that happens, you start to let your guard down and learn people’s pattern. You even begin to fall into a daily routine with that person. Those may be: paying some of the bills, buying the groceries, doing the laundry, cooking the food, etc. If you are exchanging all the goods and services without the marriage, what is the point of getting married? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
A lot has changed from the old days, but one thing that should have been kept is the value of matrimony. Marriage culminates the highest honor in that you pledge to spend the rest of your life with that person. That bond should not be taken lightly, however people of today just don’t value it like it once was. Maybe we’ll see a change in the next decade or so, but I see a downward spiral for the near future.