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Blog, Experience, Featured, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

A Guide to Halloween

Another Halloween has come and gone. There were quite some cool and creative costumes this year. The popular new one I saw was the one with couples where the guy was the Instagram with no filter and the girl was Instagram with the filter. Of course with the popularity of Black Panther this year, I saw some T’Challas and Killmongers. I even saw some costumes that paid homage to popular memes from this year (ie little Cardi B and the lady bent over squinting). There were many good costumes this year, however, some people apparently still don’t understand what’s offensive and what isn’t in the year 2018.

Veteran journalist Megyn Kelly stated she did not see what was so offensive about wearing blackface. She stated that it was done in her neighborhood she grew up in and did not see the big deal. Guess she never heard of minstrel shows and blackface done in cinema during the 1940s and 50s. She doubled down by saying if someone white wants to dress as Diana Ross, they should be able to. The problem isn’t dressing as Diana, it’s putting on blackface to do so. Every year, I see tons of women dressed as Marilyn Monroe from the Seven Year Itch, and they aren’t white women all the time. But the ones who aren’t white, are never in whiteface. Why is that I wonder? People just choose to miss the point and it became apparent for the racists that tried to come for Gabrielle Union.

For her 46th birthday, Gabrielle Union had a costume themed bash. She came dressed as Gwen Stefani during her No Doubt days. It was very cute, but the racists were not happy. They were calling for double standards as to why it was okay for Gabrielle and not for Megyn. The difference is that Gabrielle did not wear whiteface and say that it was okay to wear whiteface. Fans immediately came to Gabrielle’s defense and were not going for it. People on social media talking junk is one thing, but teachers playfully wearing inappropriate costumes actually was a thing.

In Idaho, some elementary school teachers thought it was okay to dress up in patriotic gear behind a wall, presumably a border wall that read Make America Great Again. As if that wasn’t bad enough, other teachers dressed up in sombreros, ponchos, and dark mustaches. So between all these adults, educators at that, no one thought, you know what, maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Once wind of this was made, the superintendent extensively apologized for the offensive costumes. My question is still how in 2018, people still think stuff like this is okay? If you aren’t certain about what to wear for Halloween here are a few tips.

The first one that’s a no brainier is don’t wear blackface. It was never acceptable and never will be acceptable. And the way stuff is set up, you may get yo ass kicked. The second is don’t depict any culture in a stereotypical way. We all know what stereotypes are, and if you don’t, then Google it. The third is to remember Halloween is supposed to be about having fun. There should be nothing malicious or intentional. Lastly, when in doubt, just dress up as a comic book character. Below are people who have done Halloween the right way. Hope this helps for next year.

 

Blog, Experience, Featured

Another One Bites the Dust

We have seen a lot of resurgences as of recent.  We saw an X Files, Will and Grace, Dynasty, and MacGyver reboot just to name a few.  Seems like people were longing for the nostalgia of the shows that they grew up watching.  Then Roseanne was greenlighted for a reboot.  The Conner family of Lanford, IL was coming back to the silver screen and many were excited.  Roseanne in its original run always focused on real issues that affect real people, so it was only natural that the reboot would follow the same formula.  Roseanne premiered with a bang with over 18 million viewers tuning in to see what the Conners had been doing since the show ended over 20 years ago.  Since Roseanne Barr was the creator of her show, her personal beliefs were written into the show.  Roseanne Conner as well as Barr, both are Trump supporters.  That was the focus of the premiere episode as she and her sister Jackie were no longer speaking after the election.  This was all too real for some people as the relationship between friends and family may be strained due to which political candidate they voted for.  There were also topics of interracial relationships, gender fluidity, and surrogacy to name a few.  The show had real promise and potential as it was greenlighted for a second season.  People were captured by the writing and thought that the show really was a snapshot into people’s lives today.  Then Roseanne couldn’t stay off Twitter.

Roseanne Barr has always had an abrasive say what I want to personality.  She spoke her mind and was unapologetic about it.  If your feelings were hurt oh well, thicken up that skin.  She has constantly showed her support for Trump and his policies, which she does have a right to do.  She’s also tweeted bizarre conspiracy theories.  Where the shit hit the fan was what she tweeted and then later deleted about Barack Obama’s former advisor Valerie Jarrett.  The tweet stated Muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj.  Now people may ask what’s so wrong with that, it’s just a joke, she’s a comedian lighten up, let me break it down to you.  Valerie Jarrett is a black woman so referring to any black person as any type of primate is extremely racially insensitive.  It’s a very long and ugly history of black people being referred to and treated as animals.  It wasn’t that long ago when Civil Rights were implemented across the board.  Hell school integration didn’t happen until the 1950s.  My mom remembers all of this so I’m only one generation removed from this.  So let’s stop saying it was a long time ago.  After she received a little backlash, she then said it was a joke.  Not cool or funny.  Then once real push back came, she gave a half assed apology and stated she was quitting twitter only to be back on the very next day.  Then she dropped the bomb.  Roseanne has been canceled by ABC.

When she tweeted about the cancellation, many people already had started posting about it because ABC had already released their statement I believe.  There were understandably mixed reviews.  Some people had the don’t let the doorknob hit you where the good lord split you mentality.  And then the other people were big mad about it.  Oh they were pissed.  They started pulling out all the stops about how they should ban to boycott ABC (good luck) and how it’s unfair that the president is a constant object of ridicule yet the people who do it are still employed.  They came after SNL, Bill Maher, and the View.  These are all shows that I only watch clips of online, so I’m not sure to what capacity they go into when they speak of Trump.  From what I have seen especially on SNL, this is stuff that he has actually said, but they just take it and add satire to it.  Once the convincing others that they were being hypocritical for laughing at one and not the other didn’t work, then her supporters went for the she apologized get over it.  This opened a whole new dialogue for the non-supporters who stated that when the NFL players kneel and have said numerous times, this is not about the flag, disrespecting the military, or the national anthem time and time again, that it is totally dismissed.  How come one concept is so hard to understand but the other one isn’t?  Then came the blame game.

As tough as nails as Roseanne is, she started to change her tune once she got canned.  Its so ironic that a lot of the hardcore supporters of the president will regurgitate his words and end up hearing his catchphrase: you’re fired.  The first people she went after were her castmates.  Sara Gilbert and Michael Fishman called her out immediately on her tweet.  In short, both her tv daughter and son said that ain’t cool.  She responded by saying thanks for throwing me under the bus.  In a bizarre twist, she then blamed Ambien for the tweet.  I guess Ambien forgot to list tweeting racist shit as a possible side effect.  Ambien didn’t take this lightly and basically said keep our name out your mouth.  She then tweeted (I thought she quit twitter though) to her fans that Wanda Sykes tweet that was sent out before ABC canceled her was the influence.  Wanda Sykes who was a producer on Roseanne announced that she would not be returning for season 2.  Roseanne felt that this may have skewed ABC’s decision.  After this final failed attempt, she then said I’m not racist just an idiot.  No my dear, you’re both.

The lesson that should be learned from this whole situation is that freedom of speech does not protect you from consequences.  People seem to only think about freedom of speech when it is in their favor, but the second it goes against what they believe, all hell breaks loose.  The funny thing about this is when it is called out, people just completely dismiss it.  They don’t even attempt to address it, or they deflect.  The cycle that is all to common when someone in entertainment posts something that is controversial is:

  1. Get defensive and say yeah, I meant every word.
  2. It’s a joke, where is your sense of humor.
  3. I didn’t mean to offend anyone.
  4. If I offended you, I’m sorry.
  5. Offer an excuse of what made them do it.

Bonus: If all else fails, claim your account got hacked.

Point is now, we are living in a very pc world now and certain stuff just ain’t gonna fly.  You can’t make certain statements about certain people, especially if the people have been hurt or killed for who they are.  The bottom line is that racism is very much still alive in 2018.  We can pretend that giving blacks civil rights, integrating schools, approving interracial marriage, affirmative action, and electing a black president has taken care of the race thing, but it hasn’t.  The only way to fully get rid of it, is to address the elephant in the room and then maybe a solution to this problem can occur.

Blog, Mommy chronicles

Single Babies

Video

 

This video shows that children are always listening to you.  I was having a conversation on the phone and I referenced the ‘Single Ladies’ song.  He ain’t put no ring on it, uh oh ohhh.  Ariana apparently liked the uh oh ohhh sound and she just kept repeating it.  When she said that, I started doing the hand and the stutter step and she tried to mimic what I was doing.  At this point, all I could do was pull out the phone and press record.

Blog, Featured, thumb wars

DWB (Driving While Black)

This was my response to the young man being pulled over and accused of stealing his own car.

This post actually inspired me to create this section for blogging.  I wasn’t expecting the kind of attention that I got.  This opened up many people to discuss their views.  Some agreed, some disagreed, and some agreed to disagree.  All in all, this shed light onto a subject that many think is overused, but clearly when incidences like this occur, it is not.

Blog, Featured, thumb wars

You’re Not Racist, Just Clueless

Okay, here’s the quick backstory.  Since we the people have elected a new president, there has been a lot of tension.  A friend of mine’s had been posting a lot off the wall comments lately.  Most of the time I just scroll on by at the direction of my husband, but this one was waaaayyyyyy too much.  So the first image is the first thing I see and I was like whoa.  I couldn’t just  leave this one alone.  Below, you can see how this whole scenario played out, hence the title, you’re not racist, just clueless.

As you can see, once actual facts were presented, it was like oh this escalated.  Then one of her friends had some pretty strong opinions and stereotypical views about people of color.  The funniest one to me was that I must of had an advantage getting into college, because I’m black.  But you only know what you are taught.  In the end, I still think that people will continue to be clueless about certain issues but it was good to educate someone to show that hey not all people of certain group are all the same.  Take the time to get to know someone different than you and you’d be surprised to see the things that you may have in common.  It starts first with you to go outside your little box.

Blog, Experience, Lifestyle, Mommy chronicles

Becoming Your Parents

The year was 1993.  Hearing that groovy beat come on.  Then Ice Cube’s vocals come over ‘Just waking up in the morning, gotta thank God, I don’t know, but today seems kind of odd’ (my heads know this, and can finish the rest of this song).  I clearly remember my mother stating, ‘that’s the Isley Brothers Footsteps in the Dark.  That ain’t new, he stole (her words) that.’  I really didn’t think about my new music sampling a classic hit.  I mean I kind of remember hearing my mom play that record (yes 12 inch vinyl!!) when I was a little kid.  I remember telling her, well Ice Cube was just making it his own.  He ain’t steal it.  And while I like the original, I preferred the new version to the original.  Same thing could be said of Ma$e Make Me Feel Good (sample of Kool and the Gang Hollywood Swingin) Notorious BIG Big Poppa (another Isley Brother’s sample, Between the Sheets), and Total Can’t You See (James Brown Payback), and other songs that were recorded in the 90’s but sampled from the 70’s.  I thought the “old people” were just being haters and living in the past.  I said it shows a sign of respect that new school is paying tribute and homage by sampling the old school.

Fast forward 20 years, to now.  When I heard the beat come on to Tory Lanez Say It, I thought they were playing If You Love Me, by Brownstone, until I heard a different voice.  Same thing with Zendaya and Chris Brown Something New, I thought it was TLC’s Creep.  In both situations, I was like, this ain’t Brownstone and this ain’t TLC.  Who is this?  They sampling my music now?  And then it dawned on me.  These songs were recorded over 20 years ago.  A generation by definition is 20 years.  The youngsters (oh my gosh did I really just say that?!) may or may not have been born yet.  They don’t really remember Biggie or Tupac ever being alive.  They may remember it being a big deal when they died, but not their life, kind of like me and Marvin Gaye.  So now the inevitable has occurred.  I am turning into my mom.

It’s 2017 and I listen mostly to satellite radio (The Groove, The Backspin, and Fly) which showcases music from the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, and early 2000’s.  I especially love the music from my junior high years (circa 94/95) through my college years (99 taking over into the 2000’s 😉 ).When I do listen to regular radio I listen mostly to V103.  Ironically now when I listen my songs are playing.  I thought they were about to play Footsteps in the Dark (Isley Brothers), but it was Today Was a Good Day (Ice Cube?!!).  I knew then at this point, everything has come full circle.  What’s old is now new again.  Even the fashion trends are coming back (bright colored crop tops, acid washed jeans, overalls, and high top fades).  But even the fashion we rocked as new in the 90’s, my parents would say, oh we did that in high school.  Everything is recycled.  But because people are biased, everyone thinks that whatever was going on during their time of growing up is the best.  It’s also natural to think that the generation after you has it easier/better because of technological advancements.  But everything in each decade was not good.  There are highlights and lowlights, but we tend to only remember the good and not the bad.  So let’s respect each other’s generation.  Everything now isn’t ‘stolen’ and the old stuff isn’t ‘bad’.  Let’s focus on the good and enjoy it together.

Blog, Experience, Lifestyle

Matrimony Miss

Alice and Clarence sitting in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Alice with the baby carriage.  This rhyme was often sung about a new couple back in the day.  However given today’s market, the rhyme should be updated to say: Alice and Clarence kissing in a tree.  F-O-R-N-I-C-A-T-I-N-G.  First comes lust, then comes a baby, and if she’s lucky, he’ll marry her, maybe.  Now in no way am I saying that this a new thing that just happened in the last decade or so, but if it was happening back then, it was something that was kept hush hush.  It was not broadcast for everyone to know.  Could it be that people way back had more scruples and morals than the people of today or could it be that with today’s media that tolerance for shock is at an all time high.  So I pose to answer the question: why don’t people marry anymore.

Theory #1:

More men, especially women are more likely to become highly educated.  With the job market going the way it is now, certain positions are out of one’s reach.  To even be considered you must possess a college degree (BS/BA) just to get a foot in the door.  So definitely to become the Big Kahuna, you must have an advanced degree (MS/MA, PhD).  In this time, sure you are becoming more knowledgeable and are increasing your chances of getting a better job, but many people who take this path, that’s all they know.  They have little to no time for a social life.  And once you become comfortable, you are set in your ways.  You do not want anyone to come and mess up your groove, so in a sense you become married to your career.

 

Theory #2:

The media/pop culture does not directly dictate how to live your life, but they definitely influence it.  On talk shows everyday there are women in doubt of who their baby’s daddy is.  There are songs and videos that play on the radio and the television talking about being happy to be an unwed mother or father.  And probably the most influential are celebrities.  It is not uncommon to see celebrity couples who have a kid or two and are not married or to see a couple living together and vacationing all over the world, unmarried.  This cheapens the value of marriage and children and teens who idolize these people figure hey if so in so doesn’t want to get married then neither should I.

 

Theory #3:

When living with someone you do spend a lot of direct time with them.  So you do become comfortable with them.  Once that happens, you start to let your guard down and learn people’s pattern.  You even begin to fall into a daily routine with that person.  Those may be: paying some of the bills, buying the groceries, doing the laundry, cooking the food, etc.  If you are exchanging all the goods and services without the marriage, what is the point of getting married?  Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

 

A lot has changed from the old days, but one thing that should have been kept is the value of matrimony.  Marriage culminates the highest honor in that you pledge to spend the rest of your life with that person.  That bond should not be taken lightly, however people of today just don’t value it like it once was.  Maybe we’ll see a change in the next decade or so, but I see a downward spiral for the near future.